CLASSIC UFWC TITLE MATCH:
Malta 0-8 Netherlands, 19 December 1990
European Championships qualifier, Ta’Qali Stadium, Valletta
Scorers: Van Basten (5), Bergkamp (2), Winter

Malta has repelled many foreign forces during the course of its history, but this visit from UFWC and Euro champs the Netherlands ended in crushing defeat.

Football was introduced to the Mediterranean island by British soldiers in the mid-1800s, and the Maltese set up a football association in 1863 – the same year that the English FA was formed. But Malta didn’t start playing international football until 1957, and didn’t play a UFWC title match until 1971.

The Malta team of 1990 was a relatively vintage one, featuring several of the country’s all-time most-capped players and top goalscorers, including David Carabott and Carmel Busuttil. But wins were scarce for one of the smallest nations in world football, and they had no chance against the fearsome Dutch, led by the attacking trio of Dennis Bergkamp, Marco van Basten and captain Ruud Gullit.

The Oranje had briefly been UFWC champs following their Euro 88 win, but had only just recaptured the title with a 2-0 win over Greece.

Here in Valletta, van Basten had a hat-trick within 23 minutes, on his way to a five-goal haul. Aron Winter made it 4-0 in the second half, before Bergkamp got two, and van Basten got two more – the last from the penalty spot.

Poor Malta had been trounced by eight full goals. The Netherlands held on to the title until March 1992, when they were beaten by Portugal.

CLASSIC UFWC TITLE MATCH:
England 5-0 Cyprus, 16 April 1975
European qualifier, Wembley Stadium, London
Scorers: Macdonald (5)

England were unofficial world champions, having taken the title from official champions West Germany a month earlier in a 2-0 win. Newcastle United striker Malcolm MacDonald scored his first ever international goal in that game, and ‘Supermac’ would be the star of the show against tiny Cyprus.

The England line-up was full of star names, including Peter Shilton, Colins Todd and Bell, Alans Hudson and Ball, Mick Channon and Kevin Keegan. Cyprus’s star man was captain and reigning Cypriot player of the year Andreas Stylianou, the APOEL striker who boasted a scoring record of almost one goal every two games for his club, but had only scored once in his entire international career. Of the 31 international matches Stylianou had played, Cyprus had lost 29. This really was a game of sharks against minnows.

Tiny Cyprus, with a population around 50 times smaller than England’s, had only played one previous UFWC title match, being drubbed 7-1 by Austria in 1968. They weren’t expected to qualify for the European Championships from a group also containing Czechoslovakia and Portugal, but England most certainly were.

More than 68,000 fans turned up at Wembley stadium for this one. The pitch was typical of many found in England in the 70s – muddy and full of divots, resembling a ploughed farmer’s field in places.

Although Macdonald had scored against Germany in the previous game, relations between the striker and England manager Don Revie were strained. According to Macdonald, Revie told him before the match, ‘If you don’t score in this game I’ll never pick you again.’ Macdonald responded by scoring five.

The first was a header from a Hudson cross. A Keegan pull-back and a mis-hit Macdonald shot made it 2-0 by half-time. Keegan set up the hat-trick goal, too, on 48 minutes – a close-range header for Macdonald. Numbers four and five were solid headers from right wing crosses, with the Cyprus defence obligingly remaining at a respectful distance. Macdonald also hit the post and had a goal disallowed for offside.

Like Steve Bloomer almost 90 years before him, Supermac had scored five goals in a UFWC title match. The scoreboard read ‘Congratulations – Supermac 5 Cyprus 0′. Revie was less complimentary, hurrying off down the tunnel with his head buried in his jacket lapels and his hands in his pockets. Macdonald pointed at the scoreboard and shouted after him, ‘Read it and weep, you bastard’. Amazingly, Supermac never scored goal for England in an oddly truncated international career.

England beat Cyprus again – narrowly this time – 1-0 courtesy of a Keegan goal, in Limassol in the return fixture, but, after losing 2-1 to Czechoslovakia in Bratislava, they relinquished the UFWC title and missed out on Euro qualification. Instead it was the Czechs who took the UFWC title into the 1976 European Championships in Yugoslavia.

CLASSIC UFWC TITLE MATCH:
Faroe Islands 2-5 Russia, 6 September 1995
European Championships Qualifier, Svangaskaro Stadium, Toftir
Scorers: Jarnskor, Jónsson (Faroe Islands); Mostovoi, Kiriakov, Kolyvanov, Tsymbalar, Shalimov (Russia)

Russia took the UFWC title from Yugoslavia in May 1995, and jumped straight into a European Championships qualifying campaign that saw them thrash San Marino 7-0 and Finland 6-0 before coming up against the Faroe Islands.

This was a UFWC debut for ‘the land of the sheep’, a tiny group of islands located halfway between Scotland and Iceland. The Faroes have a population of less than 50,000, compared to Russia’s 140 million. Few were betting their Faroese Krona on a home win.

However, the Faroes had a couple of secret weapons, namely the Svangaskaro Stadium and a goalkeeper named Jens Martin Knudsen. The stadium, with one stand that doubled as a bed and breakfast chalet, and a pitch that would shame most Sunday league teams, was battered by swirling winds that swept in from the fjords, making it a less-than-ideal venue for attractive football. And fork-lift truck driver Knudsen, well-known for wearing a white bobble hat, had become a cult figure after his goalkeeping heroics helped his country to an improbable win over Austria.

But the Russians, featuring temperamental Celta Vigo playmaker Aleksandr Mostovoi and Manchester United winger Andrei Kanchelskis among their stars, were a formidable proposition. And there were few surprises when Russia took the lead through a 9th minute Mostovoi penalty kick. But, just 3 minutes later, Henning Jarnskor shocked the Russians, and the 3,000 spectators, with an improbable equaliser.

Knudsen and his defence worked tirelessly to keep the opposition at bay, and the score remained 1-1 at half-time. Then, ten minutes into the first half, Todi Jónsson, regarded as the Islands’ best ever footballer, raced half the length of the pitch to score a remarkable goal and put the Faroes ahead.

But the celebrations of the home fans were to be short-lived. The Russians recovered, hitting four more goals to, in the end, comfortably see of their plucky opponents. It was no great surprise that Russia went on to qualify for the European Championships. The Faroe Islands, sadly, did not.

CLASSIC UFWC TITLE MATCH:
Spain 2-0 Argentina, 11 June 1961
Friendly, Ramón Sánchez Pizjuán Stadium, Seville
Scorers: Del Sol, Di Stéfano

Despite having played competitive international football for more than 40 years, and having taken part in the 1934 and 1950 World Cup tournaments, Spain had yet to participate in the UFWC.

This title match debut saw the Spanish up against an Argentinean side that had dominated the UFWC since the mid-50s. Argentina’s latest run as unofficial champions had been relatively short at just four games, but the South Americans had scored 17 goals along the way, so it was pretty impressive stuff.

The key talking point ahead of this game was the involvement of the great Alfredo di Stéfano. The Buenos Aires-born forward had played six times for Argentina, but since signing for Real Madrid had changed citizenship and now represented Spain.

After a goalless first half, Di Stéfano’s Madrid teammate Luis del Sol opened the scoring on 63 minutes, with Di Stéfano sealing the win ten minutes later.

Spain subsequently beat Morocco twice to take the UFWC title into the World Cup Finals, but Di Stéfano picked up an injury and never played on football’s biggest stage.

The 1962 World Cup Finals were held in Chile. Spain lost the UFWC title to Czechoslovakia, who held off eventual WC winners Brazil, then lost to Mexico, who failed to progress and exited as UFWC champs.

The history of football in Israel is almost as complicated and confusing as the history of Israel itself. The Israel Football Association was formed in 1928, 20 years before the state of Israel even existed. For many years of no fixed abode, Israel have played under the governance of five of the six continental bodies, in Africa, Asia, Europe, Oceania, and South America. They actually won the Asian Nations Cup in 1964, before eventually joining UEFA in 1994.

Israel had made three previous attempts to take the UFWC title, in 1969, 1990, and 1997, losing out to Sweden, Greece, and Germany respectively. By contrast, Russia had already won 40 UFWC title matches (23 as the USSR).

The run-up to this game saw Israel (unassuming nickname: The Holy 11) in something approaching despair after an 8-0 aggregate stuffing by Denmark in the European Championships play-offs. But the Israelis learnt from their defeat. Appreciating that the Danes seemed to know something or other about the game of football, the Israel Football Association hired Danish coach Richard Moeller Nielsen.

His Israeli side boasted two Premiership midfielders in Walid Badir and Avi Nimni. Badir was a Wimbledon player, and Nimni was coming to the end of a short stay at Derby County. Another Israeli midfielder, Idan Tal, would sign for Everton for in the months that followed this game, although his two-year stay at Goodison Park was notable only for being extremely unnotable.

Russia also lined up with a handful of familiar names. Alexei Smertin was at Locomotiv Moscow, although he would later play for Chelsea, Portsmouth, and Charlton. Up front were Zenit St Petersburg’s Alexander Panov, soon to make a big money move to St Etienne, and Spartak Moscow striker Igor Titov, a great goalscorer unfortunately better known for failing a drugs test after a Euro 2004 play-off against Wales.

The game began with Israel in the ascendancy. Badir headed the first goal after just three minutes, debutant Kfir Udi walked in the second after a defensive mix-up, and Badir drove in the third when a misplaced clearance fell at his feet. 3-0 down at half-time, Russia replaced Panov with their highest post-USSR goalscorer Vladimir Beschastnykh.

The move appeared to pay dividends, as Beschastnykh converted a penalty in the 58th minute. Russia netted again and seemed to be back in the game – only for the goal to be ruled offside. Then Nimni scored a deflected shot for Israel to seal the 4-1 victory.

The Russian press hammered their team, and manager Oleg Romantsev was said to be close to quitting. ‘We are all to blame,’ said Russian assistant coach Mikhail Gershkovich. ‘We were very bad.’ Accordingly, that meant Israel weren’t particularly good, and, having held off Georgia in a 1-1 draw, the Israelis duly lost the UFWC title to the Czech Republic in April 2000 via a 4-1 reversal. However, the achievement of Israel cannot be overlooked, and they remain one of the unlikeliest sides ever to win the UFWC.

After losing 2-1 to Switzerland on Hitler’s birthday a furious Nazi regime warned its players that if they played badly they would be dropped from the squad and sent to the Eastern Front, where they would face almost certain death. With considerable incentive to succeed, the German side recaptured the UFWC title in May 1942, beating Hungary 5-3, before comfortably seeing off Bulgaria (3-0) and Romania (7-0). They were fully expected to brush Sweden aside in a similarly emphatic manner.

The match was particularly controversial because of the Sweden’s continued neutrality in the midst of an ever-escalating war. But, as it had so many times before, football found a way to overcome the conflict, with reports suggesting that Sweden sought, and were granted, safe passage by Britain in order to travel to Berlin for the game.

Before kick-off, in front of 98,000 spectators in the Olympiastadion, the Swedish players lined up with their arms by their sides as the Germans offered Nazi salutes. (This was in stark contrast to events preceding the 1938 match between Germany and England, when, under pressure from the British authorities, the England players shamefully issued a Nazi salute.) Despite the obvious animosity surrounding them, German and Swedish captains Paul Janes and Karl-Erik Grahn sportingly shook hands, and the game got underway, officiated by Danish referee Valdemar Laursen.

Seven minutes into the match, Sweden had the audacity to take the lead through Arne Nyberg of IFK Gothenburg. Of course the Germans were no pushovers, and they fought back to take a 2-1 lead through Ernst Lehner and August Klingler. But Sweden were level before half-time, with AIK Solna forward Henry ‘Smiler’ Carlsson grabbing an equaliser. And the second half belonged to the Swedes, with Gunnar Gren and Gunnar Nordahl combining to set up Malte Martensson to score in the 71st minute, sealing a brave victory. Match winner Martensson, of Helsingborgs IF, was known as Black Lightning, due to his quick pace and raven black hair.

The defeat marked the beginning of the end for the Nazi Germany team. ’100,000 have left the stadium depressed,’ remarked foreign affairs secretary Martin Luther, ‘and because victory in this football match is closer to these people’s hearts than the capture of some city in the East, such an event must be prohibited for the sake of the domestic mood.’

The final straw for the Nazi regime was a non-UFWC defeat to Slovakia in November 1942. The national team was dissolved, and its players were sent to the front line. Skipper Fritz Walter was one of the few who survived. Many of his teammates, including goalscorer August Klingler, lost their lives. Walter subsequently captained the Germans to World Cup victory in 1954, under the apparently rehabilitated coach Herberger.

As for the UFWC, it continued in reduced circumstances, contested for only by occupied or neutral countries. Sweden, Switzerland and Hungary all won the title before war finally brought international football to a complete standstill in November 1943. The final UFWC title match of the period saw Sweden beat Hungary 7-2 There would be no further matches until June 1945.

The 1955 South American Championships saw all of the games played in Chile over the course of a month. Paraguay became UFWC champs in April 1954, beating Uruguay 4-1 to prevent the 1950 World Cup winners from taking the UFWC title into the 1954 World Cup finals.

Neither Paraguay nor Argentina participated in those finals, so they both had plenty of time to prepare for this UFWC clash. And the resultant match was a classic.

Both sides had great forward lines, so this was never going to be nil-nil. Paraguay boasted Maximo Rolón, just 5’2″ tall, but top scorer in his domestic league with Libertad three seasons running. Argentina had the brilliant Rudolfo Micheli of Independiente, one of the greatest South American goalscorers of all time.

And it was Micheli who struck first – only for Rolón to grab an equaliser. Micheli then scored a penalty to give Argentina a 2-1 half-time lead. But within seconds of the start of the second half, Paraguay were also awarded a penalty. Hermes González’s spot kick hit the post, but Eulogio Martínez quickly stabbed in the equaliser. (Martínez would later play for Barcelona, scoring the first ever goal in the Nou Camp stadium, and, after gaining Spanish nationality, winning eight caps for Spain.)

The parity lasted less than 20 minutes. First Micheli netted his hat-trick goal, and then Boca Juniors forward Jose ‘Cucumber’ Borello added another to give Argentina a 4-2 lead. (The origin of Borello’s highly unusual nickname seems to have been lost to time.) Now Argentina were in control, and Micheli eventually scored his fourth – and Argentina’s fifth – in the 83rd minute. Paraguay never gave up, and Salvador Villalba pulled one back with a minute left to play.

But in the end Argentina, and Micheli in particular, were too strong. Argentina won 5-3 and, just as Brazil had done three years previously, they won the UFWC title at the first time of asking.

Argentina successfully held onto the title throughout the remainder of the South American Championships, coming up against Chile in the final decisive match. Yet another Micheli goal was enough to give Argentina the 1-0 victory that won them the 1955 South American Championships.

UFWC champs Argentina played out the 1993 Copa America tournament without one Diego Armando Maradona, who had recently controversially walked out on his club side Sevilla after a disappointing season. Maradona had been dropped from the national side after being handed a 15-month ban for failing a drugs test in 1991. He would return to fail another drugs test at the 1994 World Cup, but in the meantime Argentina could rely upon other star names.

Sergio Goycochea was a formidable goalkeeper, Oscar Ruggeri kept things together at the back, Fernando Redondo and Diego Simone ran the midfield, and Gabriel Batistuta was a bona fide goal machine.

Mexico also had a celebrated goalkeeper in flamboyant free kick expert Jorge Campos. A fan of gaudy luminous kits, Campos managed to score more than 30 goals during his career as a net-minder. Ramon Ramirez was Mexico’s key defender, and Alberto Garcia Aspe was the star in midfield. Up front was a man widely regarded as the best Mexican footballer of all time, the great Hugo Sanchez, famous almost as much for his back-flipping celebrations as for his many goals.

Argentina had held the UFWC title for 12 straight games, having taken it from Australia. Mexico, with a poor UFWC record for such a famous footballing nation, had held the title only once, in 1962 – and then lost it to the Dutch Antilles.

Argentina reached the Copa America final by beating Brazil and Colombia in penalty shoot-outs in the quarter and semi-finals. Mexico, playing their first Copa America tournament, saw off Peru and hosts Ecuador.

The game was a tight one, and it only really came to life midway through the second half. Fiorentina striker Batistuta gave Argentina the lead in the 63rd minute. ‘Batigol’ finished the previous Copa America as top scorer, but this was only his second strike of this tournament.

Four minutes later Mexico were level, with Benjamin Galindo slotting a penalty past renowned spot kick-stopper Goycochea. But Batistuta restored Argentina’s advantage in the 74th minute, and his goal proved to be decisive. Argentina won the Copa America and retained the UFWC title.

Free-scoring France took the UFWC title from Belgium in the first round of the 1984 European Championships with a 5-0 win. The tournament hosts then saw off Yugoslavia and Portugal, both defeated 3-2, to reach the final.

Spain qualified for the tournament courtesy of one of the most ludicrous results ever recorded. Needing to beat Malta by a full 11 goals in their final qualifying match, Spain proceeded to miss a penalty, concede a goal, yet still win 12-1. It was very difficult to imagine that the handing-over of brown envelopes had not occurred, although UEFA and FIFA accepted the result.

For the final, France fielded what is perhaps their classic side, featuring the peerless midfield quartet of Michel Platini, Jean Tigana, Alain Giresse, and Luis Fernandez. If they had a weakness, it was that they did not have a prolific goalscorer up front.

On paper, Spain had an inferior side, with future coach Jose Antonio Camacho one of the few notable names. They scraped through to the final, winning only one first round match, and beating Denmark on penalties in the semi-final. Crucially, however, they proved difficult to beat.

Approaching the final in a similarly obstinate style, the Spaniards were able to frustrate the French, and the vast majority of the 47,000 crowd, in a goalless first half.

But, on 57 minutes, France won a free-kick on the edge of Spain’s D. Up stepped set piece maestro Platini. But he did not produce his vintage. His free kick was lobbed weakly straight at Spanish keeper Luis Arconada. But, inexplicably, Arconada fumbled the ball and allowed it to slip over the line. Platini had broken the deadlock, with something of an assist from the goalie.

Spain began probing forward in search of an equaliser, and France were reduced to 10 men after defender Yvon Le Roux was sent off, but the French midfield retained control of the game.

In the final minute Bruno Bellone raced clear of the Spanish defence and chipped the ball over Arconada to seal the victory. It was France’s twelfth UFWC win, but the first time the nation had ever won an official competition.

A century on from the original Battle of Stamford Bridge, the setting saw another legendary scuffle. England were still regarded as the best team in the world, but Dr Hugo Meisl and Jimmy Hogan’s Austrian Wunderteam provided fearsome opposition.

The Austrians had held the UFWC title for 12 consecutive games, impressively beating Germany 6-0 and 5-0, Switzerland 8-1, and Hungary 8-2 along the way. Add to the equation the fact that Austria played Meisl and Hogan’s brand of ‘Scottish football’, and this was a mouthwatering and monumental clash.

The illustrated souvenir programme produced for the match (priced 3d) showed the flags of both countries and photographs of captains Billy Walker and Karl Rainer. 42,000 spectators crammed into the ground, and the game got underway at 2.15 in the afternoon.

Despite Austria’s impressive passing play, England prevailed in the first half, taking 2-0 lead into the interval courtesy of Samuel Crooks of Derby County and Blackpool’s Jimmy Hampson.

But, six minutes after the restart, Karl Zischek pulled a goal back for the Wunderteam. Now the game became a classic footballing contest, with both sides drawing admiration from all in attendance.

In the 77th minute Aston Villa striker William Houghton scored a third goal for England. But Austria were not beaten yet. Three minutes later the brilliant Matthias Sindelar pulled another goal back for the Wunderteam. England replied almost immediately, with Hampson grabbing his second goal of the match to make it 4-2. But still Austria would not lie down.

With three minutes left to play Zischek, who scored twice against Scotland in 1930, claimed another brace to put Austria within touching distance of England at 4-3. But that would be as close as Austria would come.

England held out for a narrow victory but, to use a well-worn cliché, football had been the big winner. The game would go down in history as one of the very finest ever played.

Austrian goalscorers Mathias Sindelar and Karl Zischek went on to become football legends, but England’s two-goal hero Jimmy Hampson never played for his country again and was largely forgotten. In 1938 he was lost at sea while fishing with friends. His yacht, Defender, collided with a trawler. His body was never recovered.